It All Comes Back to Balance

I want to be a professional writer, a teacher, a traveler, an interpreter, a reader, a worker, a… studier? I want to say “student,” but it doesn’t match the list!

Anyway, back to my point, I have about 151,283,489,390,289.38827495 desires on my heart. All of which I feel are put there by God. All of which I’m dying to poor my time into. RIGHT NOW! But I can’t.

The Bible tells us that God will never ask more of us than we can handle. But that doesn’t mean we can’t get fooled into asking ourselves for more than we can handle, and then telling our brains that the request came straight from God. Maybe the desire came from God, but that doesn’t mean the request for action did.

This is the problem I’ve been facing lately. I want to do it all and I want to do it all now! People try to reel me in saying, “Abigail. Chill! You’re only 19! You have plenty of time!” But that’s when I refute them with, “What about when I become a mom, huh? I won’t have plenty of time when I become a mom!” And what about all that “live today like it’s your last” kind of talk? I could die tomorrow. I could die today! So don’t tell me I’ve got time. If there’s one thing I don’t have, it’s time.

But that is still not a good excuse for running myself ragged. Stories to write pile up in my head, books to read clutter my Goodreads shelf, CLEP tests to conquer loom over me, taunting me in my sleep. I know as I get older, life will get anything but easier. There comes a time when I must face the fact that I can’t do it. I just. Can’t. Do it.

Sounds like a defeatist statement, doesn’t it? But really, it’s not. It’s actually one of the most freeing things you’ll ever hear in your life, so take these words to heart! You can’t do it all. You won’t do it all. So just stop trying.

Don’t stop trying to do what you love. Don’t stop trying to advance in your career. Don’t stop trying to be a better mother or friend. Just stop trying to be Superman!

God has given us all desires and he’s given us all the time we need to complete the work he’s asked us to do. Which leads me to the question, “What does he want me to do right now?”

It’s time to have a serious talk with God to learn what projects I should be working on and which ones need to be set on the back burner. It’s time to trust that, in time, my writing career will blossom and grow. In time, I will have a piece of paper with the words “Bachelors in English” hanging on my wall, and once I check those things off my list, more tasks will come. I’ll always be busy.

But I know that as long as God is my life coach, telling me when to go for it and when to hold back, I’ll never run out of steam because I’ll always be pursuing what he has designed for me to pursue and nothing extra.

Balance.

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